Don't you just hate your life...Exams aren't the only bad thing happening...The problem is that I can't get myself to sit up right and get my eyes off the computer for once. I'm addicted to this machine, created to ruin childrens mind, that is what I think so. I really admire people who could sit there and study quietly, peacefully and get some good results for their parents to see, more do I admire people who don't need to study and get such wonderful results. I really do. People don't know how blessed they are for not being able to play so much, they seem to be able to get better results. Not saying computer isn't good, it's good, for projects and research, but...Argh, I just don't know what to say, they are so blessed, so lucky. Sometimes, I really feel jealous that my friends are all so smart, I just have this feeling if I don't change my results will drop lower. Plainly, laziness. I just don't like people looking down on me, some people really say things so sarcastic, I really hate that. I don't have the courage to stand up for my own rights, and just be...Independent...I'm a follower, that's my destiny, I feel like changing it, but I don't have the strength, don't have the courage don't have what it takes. My heart tells me something but my mind tells me another. I just don't want to be left out, alone. I've suffered the loneliness and know the feeling of it, I know what it's like to be the only one, all alone out there. Not only with friends, but also with family. I don't have no one to turn to whenever I feel down, only cry my hearts out in the middle of the night, so no one will ever realise. No one knows what I really want. My friend ask me to tell, just say it out, but I couldn't, I don't know why.