cause lately i've
information

"For every two times you feel up there is twice the chance to feel down - 99/100騙しの哲 by UVERworld"

tagboard

links

Alex [X]
Ayeshah [X]
Brandon [X]
Clarissa [X]
Clarisse [X]
Daniel [X]
Derrick [X]
Eileen [X]
Esther [X]
Eunice Lee [X]
Eunice Lim [X]
Genevieve [X]
Hui En [X]
Hui Jing [X]
Jarratt [X]
Jaycelyn [X]
Jia Hui [X]
Jia Min [X]
Jie Heng [X]
Kimberley [X]
Li Qin [X]
Marcus [X]
Muni [X]
Novia [X]
Pei Ying [X]
Shi Yuan [X]
Shu Ling [X]
Si Yin [X]
Song Jia [X]
Vivien [X]
Wee Shan [X]
Wei Qi [X]
Wei Qi (Dance)[X]
DHS1-2Iowa [X]
DHS3-4Gigabites [X]
DHSCOGY [X]

archives

March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009

credits

layout tm / dd

Monday, July 28, 2008


BORED

8:57 PM

WOO! One stress down.. No more solo! Haha. Just qizou now.. But it becomes a little pointless now :/

Anyway... I found this somewhere on the net.. Heheh..


1)What was the connection between you and the last person that called you?
Friends. :D

2)Do you ever turn off your handphone?
Never ever.. Though sometimes it shuts down on me.. Hmm..

3)What happened at 10am today?
Drawing storyboard? Or dozing off in class...Hehe :3

4)When did you last cry?
2 nights ago. PMS emo moment..

5)Who are you talking to now?
My lovely laptop

6)What do you want in your life now?
Money $$. Hahaha. Anything but my miserable life

7)Do you carry an umbrella or just put up your hood when it rains?
Ermm.. None? Though my umbrella is in my schoolbag 24/7 :D

8)What's your favourite thing to have on your bed?
Something to hug ♥♥♥

9)What bottoms are you wearing now?
School skirt -.-"

10)Describe the person who tagged you to do this quiz
Lifeless, cold and getting warmer, black and old.... LAPTOP

11)Do you tend to make relationships complicating?
I don't! It just happens... Sometimes...

12)Are you wearing anything that you'e borrowed from someone?
No no no..

13)What was the last movie you went to see?
Hmm... Dark Knight? But I was kinda sleeping half the show T.T ... Or more...

14)What are you proud of?
That's a difficult question...

15)What's your oldest message in you inbox say?
Some CO passed down msg.. :/

16)What's the song you last sang out loud?
Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade ♥

17)Do you have any nicknames?
Nothing I'd like to mention.. hahaha.

18)What is the the oldest text message you had received?
Ohh.. So what was that question before referring to?

19)What time did you go to bed last night?
12am plus plus plus?

20)Are you currently happy?
How do you define happy?

21)Who gives you the best advice?
My head.

22)Did you eat whipped cream straight out of the can?
Eww no.. I hate whipped cream..

23)Who did you talk to last night?
Hmm. I forgot.. Did I mention I have STM? Haha

24)What is bugging you right now?
Everything 0.o

25)Who was the last person who made you laughed?
Let's see.. I don't know -.-

26)Do you wear toe socks?
Never tried..

27)Who was the last person that you missed a call from?
My piano teacher -.-

28)Have you ever broken a heart?
How would I know? Anyway. I don't think so, I'm such a nice person :D

29)Do you ever have a crush on someone?
Obsession, maybe?

30) Have you ever done cocaine?
Never have and never will

31) What's the colour of your room?
Coffee brown.. The creamy, milky super light brown kind.. Mmm, yumm :9
32) Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?
If it's legal.. Don't blame me for being a law-abiding citizen.. And yes, I can be heartless *evil laughter*..

33) Do you believe in the saying "talk is cheap"?
So true..

34) Who was the last person who laid in your bed?
Me, me and me :D

35) Who was the last person who hugged you?
Hmm.. Rmb? STM..

36) Have anyone see you kissed somebody?
My hamsters saw me smooch my dog. Haha.

37) Do you have a life?
Definately NO.. Or do I?

38) What's the reason behind your blog song?
No reason.. Since I don't have one anyway.

39) Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Do you think I remember?

40) Last time you smiled?
Minutes ago?

41) Have you changed this year?
Weirder.. I think..

42) What are you listening right now?
Shake it by Forever the sickest kids

43) Are you talking when you're doing this?
I may not be the most normal person.. But I'm not demented -.-

44) Do you talk with your eyes open or closed?
Open.. Unless I sleeptalk.. Do I?

45) Is there a quote you live by?
"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut." - Albert Einstein

46) Do you want someone you can't have?
Maybe.. Hehe :D

47) What was the worst idea you had this week?
To die in my sleep X)

48) Have you ever played an instrument?
More than I can count.. Oh wait.. I can..

49) What were you doing last night at 11pm?
Daydreaming? Or is there such a thing when you're dreaming at night but still not asleep?

50) Are you happy with your love life?
Screw love life.. Dreams are all that matters

51) What is the song that describes your love life?
When You're Gone - Avril Lavigne

52) Does the person know you like him?
Do I even like anyone?

53) Who always make you laugh?
The baichi, hahaha. And many other people of course :D

54) Do you speak other languages?
If I take english as one language.. Does chinese count as a second?

55) Are you a blonde?
No no.. I wanna have abstract colours.. Like red, purple, blue, hotpink..

56) What is your middle name?
Hmm. Do I have one?

57) What are you doing tomorrow?
School, shopping and lessons again -.-

58) What do you think you are like?
A lost puppy.. Ok.. Weird...

59) Who would you choose to die with?
A cookie..

60) Where have you been today?
School, shopping mall, home..

61) What game do you play frequently?
RPGs.. You know.. Virtual reality is much better than reality..

62) Who are you missing right now?
Casper the friendly ghost

63) Who will you treasure the most?
My family.. I guess..

64) What are you doing now?
Dozing off..

65) What primary school are you from?
White Sands Primary School..

66) Name three colours that you like
Purple, Orange, Silver (White is not a colour.. That's so sad)

67) What emotion you will like to show now?
<(-.-<) <( -.- )> (>-.-)>

68) What is life to you?
Life is full of ups and downs.. It's never easy, it's never fair..

69) If something is troubling you, what would you do?
Swim in my misery.. Alone..

70) Who do you admire the most?
Old people.. They live so long without actually going crazy.. How do they do it..?

71) Which month are you born in?
March... The same day as Albert Einstein but 129 years later.. Haha

72) How are you feeling now?
Tired and overworked

73) What is the time now?
10:10pm.. I took too long >.<

74) Where are you now?
My room..

75) What is life to you?
Look up.. You'll find your answer there.. And I mean.. Not literally..

76) What colour did you use to dye your hair?
I've never.. But I hope to.. Again.. Refer to above to know what colour I chose X)

77) Why did you do this quiz?
Destress.. haha

78) What would you do when you are moody?
Smile and laugh like nothing's happened at all :D

79) What age do you want to marry at?
Hmmm. Not so early, not so late..

80) What is more important to you? Boyfriend or friends?
I'm in no position to comment. haha.

81) Do you think you have the confidence?
Which part of me shows confidence?

82) Who do you trust most?
Any inanimate object that's not smelly or sticky

83) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a phase of rain?
I don't really get it.. But I've seen a couple of rainbows.. Real ones... Serious..

84) If you have a dream, what would it be?
I'd dream of a world without school, haha. And I'm the godly king of the world *sinister smile*. haha.

85) What is your goal for this year?
Survive without going insane

86) Do you believe in eternal love?
Wait till I find one..

87) What feeling do you love most?
Anything but what I'm feeling this days..

88) Do you think there's global warming now?
Of course.. Save the Earth...!

89) What feeling you hate the most?
What I'm feeling these days.

90) Do you cherish your friendships?
I've had enough mistakes to learn to cherish.

91) Do you believe in God?
Nope

92) Who cares for you the most?
My stomach

93) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
To live a meaningful one..

94) What is the one thing you've regretted?
Getting angry that one day when I shouldn't have..

95) What'll you bring when you fight?
The day when I really get angry enough to fight I'd bring a chopper..

96) Do you love going out?
Getting out of the house? Yes... Sports? Maybe not as much. haha.

97) What will you feel if nobody cares about you?
I could write you a one page essay.. But I have NO time..

98) What super power you would want to have?
To read minds.. Or teleportation's not bad.. Or maybe to change to whatever you want to.. Hmm.

99) How many ex you have?
I'm proud to say zero. Being a 单身主义者 is a good goal in life..

100) Would you tell on your first kiss?
I think I was still a baby when someone first kissed me. Was it mum or dad?


Saturday, July 26, 2008


Stressed and sick

9:00 PM

I can't take it anymore. It's seriously too much... Firstly, there's bio and math test next week. I totally don't get bio since mdm loh had pretty much been away and bio lessons was always taken over by other lessons.. Then math is still blur like crazy.. And not forgetting rushing of storyboard and filming which is due on monday and week 7 respectively..

Then there's shicheng performance. Which I don't think I can make it.. I'm seriously not up to standard.. And I don't think I'm any good at all.. Why did dls even chose me in the first place.. That's like his greatest mistake... I'm gonna screw the whole performance up.. Then it'll be all my fault.. Well, it is my fault.. I'll never be as good. Never be what they expect of me.. If they even expect anything..

Lastly there's piano exam.. I haven't memorised scale.. Am still going crazy over oral notes and still haven't mastered all my pieces.. I only mastered half of nocturne, prelude part of my prelude and fugue and my mozart.. That's like 2 out of 3 pieces.. And how long is it till exam day? 3 weeks? Or less? I don't want to have to retake my exam.. It's not only because of the exam costs (which is freakin high for grade 8), but also not to disappoint my teacher and all.. It's my mistake for not practicing hard enough at the start, but there's like not much time for me to do anything anymore these days (with project and all).. It's not that I don't like piano. I can say its my favourite instrument.

Oh yes.. The best thing of all is that I'm sick with flu.. How lucky am I? After my ulcer is almost healed here comes the most irritating thing that could happen.. Sneezing every few seconds and now even coughing.. Gosh.. Lucky lucky me..

Please tell me how I'm going to die.. Oh no, wait.. I already know..


Do you ever feel like breaking down
Do you ever feel out of place
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up out loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what its like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else
Are you sick of feeling so left out
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate
Are you sick of everyone around
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save you
No you don't know what its like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not going to be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
Feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one there to save you
No you don't know what its like (what it's like)
Welcome to my life
Oh yes.. The only good thing that happened today.. We say 987 DJs today!! Took picture with Dan and Young! :D And also saw justin from muttons to midnight. Haha. Their so hilarious


Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Child's promise

9:48 PM

Today was totally horrible.. I think I'm gonna fail chem. Gosh.. My results are gonna go down the drain (not like it's not already down there).

Lucky today was wet weather.. No running! Was playing volleyball, and our ball flew down from the hall to the parade square. Haha. At first I ran down to get it, then they ask me to hit it back up. It was SO high! Managed to get it up in the end before eunice throw another ball down again =.= haha. Then jillian came down also to join to fun. It was so hilarious. Then suddenly another class guys drop their vball down also and cause it was the normal hard and heavy volleyball it was so difficult to hit up. So I gave jillian the heavy one and took the light one. We were like hitting the ball nonstop then eunice, jiamin and the guys from the other classes were like upstairs looking at us hitting the ball =.= Mine kept going too high and bounced back while jillian's was too low cause it was the heavier one. So funny =.=

Oh yes.. And we stayed back to draw storyboard today. How the hell are we going to finish it all?! Have to do again tomorrow.. Die die die...

"A child's promises. A simple white lie? Do you still remember?"


Monday, July 21, 2008


Misunderstood!

7:35 PM

I'm such a misunderstood person. Haha. Firstly... No emo talk today since there's 2 test tomorrow! So in conclusion, I'm misunderstood and busy! Lady luck hates me.

Firstly.. to clear some doubts, if there are any (I heard there is..).. I'm definately not sad over comm or not being anything or whatsoever. Being comm is like having an extra responsibility, and because this is like SYF year, it'll be super stressful and difficult. No way I'll willingly sell my soul to the devil. No no no... It's not like being in comm is horrible.. Okay, so maybe I take back half of it.. It is not very good, for someone like me. Haha. Slacking is number 1 prioriety :D Seriously.. I'm not crazy over it, neither do I hate it..

So yeah.. I'm happy I'm not the zz. Didn't huijing do a wonderful job today? GRATS! :D (even though she was PRETTY strict) Nah.. Just joking. She's suppose to be strict. Anyway, great job to her! She has my full support. And plus.. I get to go home with 3M + linda. haha. (No going home late at night and all, my parents will kill me! Poor huijing, she's already so busy). It's like back to when we were sec 2 when we go back together everytime. :D Lucky non of us got chosen. If not it'll be kinda empty then. Overall I'm a very happy person :D No regrets.

Like I said.. I'm really busy now. My chem test is like pushed forward will 7.30! Means I have to take the test once I reach school, also meaning no time to revise physics! I haven't even started on both.. Oh no..


Saturday, July 19, 2008


Emoness

7:32 PM

This is the start of emo week... Haha

First I have to announce something...

AUGUST'S BIGGEST DOOMS DAY EVENT:

EUNICE LEE'S BIRTHDAY (20th AUGUST) NO PRESENT IS NEEDED :D


Just joking! Haha. Don't kill me! :( And your birthday announcement was x-tra large. :D


"I'm always smiling, always trying to fit in. But it feels so unreal. Whatever I do, wherever I go, whatever happens to me, whether I'm alive or dead, it's like I'm just watching it on a TV screen. I guess... I've never been happy." Well life's like that.. I think the stress is getting to me. I think I'll screw up tomorrow. What happens then? Hmm. Get kicked out? Maybe it's for the best then.. I screwed up on friday, know I did. I knew I wasn't good enough.. Wasn't up to expectations.. I'll try.. I will.. But what will happen if I can't improve.. Can I? Argh I hate questions..

I feel so distant.. So distant from reality.. I really need to wake up.. Why is this happening. I can't lose anyone anymore.. Everything is happening all together.. I don't know how to handle this.. I'm at a dead end now..


Thursday, July 17, 2008


Double Posting

10:18 PM

I know I'm double posting.. But.. Just let me rant

I'm sure there's this unwritten rule that everyone have to look forward and not look back. But sometimes I'd rather live in the past. You know.. It's getting harder and harder each day to look infront.. My future is like a blur.. I've handled more than enough disappointments, too much that I seriously fear to anticipate what will happen next.

Disappointments in what? In me I guess. In what I do.. In what I think.. In how I act.. Maybe others around me are disappointed too.. Who knows? Never once I accomplished something good enough.. Maybe I never will.. Life has too much maybes.. Maybe this, maybe that.. Nothing can be for sure.. And I know my sentences aren't linking..

Sometimes I feel that I'm gonna crumble any moment. But I'm still okay I guess. I'll just have to take things as it comes. I'm tired of waiting.. Waiting for something good to finally happen. I've let too many good things pass me by.. Too many things I've regretted. Like they say, you never learn to cherish until you've lost it. That's just so true. You never know when something good happens. And I never seem to learn from my mistakes.. To cherish those around me. I guess I've lost one too many..

Looking back, there's this feeling of mixed joy and sadness. Remembering those days, those were the happiest moments in my life.. But now everything's gone.. The memories and... It'll never come back.. Friends.. Never forever..

I guess I'm never good at moving on.. Never good at forgetting such things. And I never thought things would turn out this way.. Just because of that slight mistake I made.. Just because I trust you enough to show you that I was angry.. Trust you enough to hope that you can understand why. And then it all went downhill.. The mask everyone has.. It's never meant to be taken off..

These are just depressing thoughts.. Things that doesn't make sense. To you or to me.. Life's just not working out right now.. Maybe its the stress that's causing me to think too much. I don't know.. I never know what I really thing anyways..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------



BUSY BUSY LIKE A BEE
9:38 PM

I've been like REALLY busy.. And the upcoming stuff are even worse..

Let's count first..

18/7 (tomorrow)
Chinese test - gong han and si han

Next Week...

22/7
Physics test - Heat Transfer, KTOM, Latent Heat, Heat Capacity)
Chemistry test - Qualitative Analysis (open book, MCQ)

23/7
Chemistry test - Acids Bases and Salts

25/7
Language Arts - Film Storyboard

Math test - Somewhere in the week, polynomials and partial fractions?

Week 6...

Biology test - Nutrition, Digestion and Enzyme

Week 7...

Language Arts - Macbeth Text-based test

Week 9...

Language Arts - FILM PROJECT (oh noes.. Haven't finish)

August (DOOMS DAY MONTH)

8/3
SHICHENG SOLO PERFORMANCE!
Piano exam room tryout

8/8
PIANO EXAM!

Term 4... Week 1

Chemistry test - Mole Concept

Week 4

Chemistry EOYs


This is just what I currently know now.... I probably missed out some stuff or some the teacher haven't announced yet..

I'm gonna die on piano exam day.. Haven't even learn everything and oral is KILLING MY BRAIN.. I can't fail my grade 8... No no no.. I can't fail...

Then on shicheng performance day.. Where I think I'll screw up... I have piano trial on that day.. Like.. A day where to go try the room and have a mock exam with your teacher. Try the piano and all. Then after that there's performance! Oh no.. I feel so stressed with all those experienced people around.. And jiayu also! Goshh... I'm gonna faint from stress.

Then there's all the test and all.. And I LOST MY PORTFOLIO! Argh.. So I'm not gonna hand up tomorrow.. After the weekend bah.. Oh yess. There's handover tomorrow :D Hoho.. I'm looking forward.

I guess the only good thing that's happened to me is that I get to skip the 3km+ run on our school's national day celebration because of my piano exam.. I'll come after the run :D Or maybe I'll just don't come.. It takes like so long to come to school from parkway!

I don't know what else to write now... Oh yes.. We disected a heart just awhile ago. It was fun.. I know its a sick thought.. Haha. Anyway.. If you wanna see photoes go to eunice's blog :D

Tata. Gotta study gonghan and sihan now.


Thursday, July 03, 2008


Life's a bitch

11:24 PM

Life's a bitch. You have to agree..

I hate history.. Why does history have to be SO long..

Whatever..


Today was, well.. Eat, movie, blah blah.. Went to watch 'HANCOCK'. Nice :D But I still wanna watch '21'.. That's like unfair.. Ate pizza hut before that, this time I didn't eat bake rice, a round applause for that! But I still won't eat pizza.. Haha. After the movie went to macs for ice-cream then went home.. You have to agree that strawberry sundae is much better than hot fudge! Everyone does :D

Then got home, ate dinner and started on math, then history.. I'm starting to have Stalinphobia. If there's such a thing. Since he have so many things named after him, adding one wouldn't hurt. Hehe.. And it's true if you read through who knows how many essays and almost the whole wiki page on him. Maybe not the essays.. But several wiki pages.. And I haven't even complained about math... ARGH..

Life's a bitch..

"a one-sided affair, I'm counting down the days"