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"For every two times you feel up there is twice the chance to feel down - 99/100騙しの哲 by UVERworld"

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009


MOVED

8:36 PM

Yo darlings. I've officially moved to Livejournal.

If you're smart enough you'll be able to guess what my link is.

I believe you're all smart enough though. HAHA.


Monday, April 27, 2009


SLEEPY

8:22 PM

I'm tired. so much tests to study, so much work to do.

When will I ever be good enough, to be that one unique person, just me and only me..


Thursday, April 23, 2009


Once again

8:03 PM

This blog will be opened once again..

At least for now (:



Over
7:52 PM

SYF is finally over. I can't shake away that feeling of disappointment. But I feel relieved..

I failed, I really did. My mind wasn't functioning as it should, my fingers weren't listening to me. But what can I do now but let it go?

But I'm not good at letting go. I never was and never will be. Yet I never know how to cherish my chances, cherish my opportunities and cherish every moment I have. How contradictary.

I don't want to be emo. I've passed that stage. Now I just feel empty. It's like I've lost everything. Well.. Almost everything.

In the end, I still want to thank so many countless people for their well wishes, good lucks, encouragements, advice, help and so on... Seniors, juniors, friends.. There's just too many people to name. But I'm sorry if I let any of you down.

And I'm grateful, I appreciate it. Thank you.

We're all so busy tryin' to get ahead, got a pillow of fears when we go to bed,
we're never satisfied, 'the grass is greener on the other side'. We're so
distracted with the jealousy, forget it's in our hands to stop the agony, will
you ever be content, on your side of the fence.

Sometimes you can't help but feel like running away from everything. Just fly away to some deserted island at some deserted coast and live your remaining life peacefully. At this time, I want to just forget about this.

Well, it's useless whining and crying my hearts out in self-pity. I will be a happy person. To the best of my abilities, I'll wake up from this nightmare and get this over with once and for all. Even if I have to do it all alone, I will and I can make it..

A life "alone".. I wonder if I can survive. Heh.. This is too depressing. Smile.. I'll smile. I guess I can do it. Optimistic is a correct way of life.

I never really try to be positive, I'm too damn busy being negative, so focused on what I get, I never understood what it means to live.



Sunday, April 19, 2009


Here On My Own - Sweetbox

10:38 PM

She doesn't smile like me
She doesn't meake you weak
And she'll never know how to make you laugh
But she won't make you cry, she'll never break your heart like I used to
If you only knew all the words I couldn't say

When I close my eyes I see you
In my dreams you will be near
Won't let you disappear
But I'm here on my own
When I close my eyes and listen
I am crying out for you in the center of my heart
But I'm here on my own
Ooooh

You used to hear me breathe
When you touched me deep
Can you hear the sounds?
Can you feel the heat?
I was just too scared to let you own the deepest part of me
I've left paradise
And I did not even say goodbye
Oooooh

When I close my eyes I see you
In my dreams you will be near
Won't let you disappear
But I'm here on my own
Hey
When I close my eyes and listen
I am crying out for you in the center of my heart
But I'm here on my own
Ooooh baby
Oooooooh

I think I'm over you
But it's not true
It's just a lie in a shade of blue
I think I'm over you
But it's not true
It's just a lie in a shade of blue
Oooooh


Saturday, April 11, 2009


就让这首歌

10:01 PM

就让这首歌 今夜一直重复
我们都没错 只是看清楚 原来不懂的事
没有什么好说 现在先不要说
就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱 爱情的终点

回忆一触即发 如何忍住眼泪
不让她哭得唏哩哗啦 触景生情 这样好吗
从今以后各走各的路
身上留有你的 Tattoo
怎么可能不在乎
不怪现在 只怪当初
谁辜负了谁 糊涂 清醒了没
越是买醉却不醉
绕了一圈却越想念谁
吃定了谁 电影散场了没
又怎么会虎头蛇尾 看你哭红又腫了双眼
一把眼泪 一把鼻涕
从戏剧变成默剧 怎么继续
只好放着这首歌 它一直 Repeat
曾经你是我的瘾 我们爱得这么过瘾
就像生命共同体 如今 却只能谢谢这回忆
电影散场之后 你是否留下了什么
一切不能再重头 那感伤的话别说
这决定并不轻松 夜深人静心会痛
有首歌它一直 Repeat
Repeat 是为了什么

是分手的时候 就让我们自由
回忆一幕幕就像一场电影 原来一直感动
电影终要结束 结束难免痛苦 心中留下伤痕
就让这首歌 萦绕在耳边

我尝试 刻画着每一次
曾经快乐的每一日
这首歌要播几次 有太多的舍不得事
歌词像针在刺 旋律让眼眶湿
曾几何时 开始静止 打不开的画夹
从你哝我哝的梦 到现在你懂我懂的沉默
所有的痛 就让时间来破
电影散场之后 就在那回首处
你别走回头路
我只能头也不回地藏住感触
少了骗人的拼图 怎么拼得出那版图
我真心为你祝福
有没有那么一首歌 会让你很想念
有没有那么一首歌 你会假装听不见
听了又掉眼泪 却按不下停止键
多少的夜 就这样开着灯 到另一个夜
我们之间有多少故事在这首歌的里面
人不在 就让这首歌在 回忆也还在
谢谢你的爱

就让这一首歌 今夜一直重复
我们都没错 只是看清楚 原来不懂的事
哦 没有什么好说 现在先不要说
就让我们沉默
最后的拥抱 爱情的终点


Friday, April 10, 2009


Hiatus

10:28 PM

Being on hiatus. Or not.

Maybe I shouldn't even reopen this blog, or I'll have to censor lots and lots of things :/

Haha. My final day of slacking before going straight out and giving my all :D

I hope this will be a fulfilling part of my life.

I realised.. I hate restrictions. I hate listening to people forcing me to do this and do that. Maybe I'm just spoilt, I probably am. But I'll do what I feel is best. I won't do things totally unreasonable. So just give me a reason to respect and believe, before you ask me for anything.

Respect. What is respect..? What can you do to gain that respect? A wonderful question to think about huh...?


Monday, April 06, 2009


Bubble Wrap

9:56 PM

I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
Incase I fall and break apart,
I'm not God I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
But I know you hurt,
The people that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.
This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Ooo oo oo ooo,
Do you think you ought to cry?
This is goodbye.
I'm a little dazed and confused,
Life's a bitch and so are you,
All my days have turned into nights,
Cos living without, without, without you in my life,
And you wrote the book on how to be a liar,
And lose all your friends,
Did I mean nothing at all?
Was I just another ghost that's been in your bed?
Cause this is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Ooo oo oo ooo,
Do you think you ought to cry?
This is goodbye.
Yeah! Turn on the radio honey,
Cause every single sad song you'll be able to relate!
Whoa oh! Don't get all emotional baby,
You never talk to me your unable to communicate!
This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised...
This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Ooo oo oo ooo,
Do you think you ought to cry?
This is goodbye.
This is Goodbye


Sunday, April 05, 2009


Darkness

9:22 PM

It's so dark. I'm scared.


Saturday, April 04, 2009


Smile

11:56 PM

Well now, put up a smile and face the new day.

It'll all be over soon. 18 more days.

It's gonna be nonstop spamming now. Mon-Fri if possible :/

Just 18 more days of hard work. Let's work hard and get that GWH! :D

(I realised my ":D" smiley doesn't look nice cause of the anti-caps :/)



Over.. Or not?
10:33 PM

Just got home from SYF rehearsal at SCH.

It almost felt like SYF was over.. But if it were really over, I would be screaming and crying my eyes out instead of feeling all gooey with butterflies in my stomach.

When I stepped on stage, it almost felt like my whole body turned into jelly. It was only then I realised how nervous I actually was. I was shaking non stop and almost went into hyper-ventilation mode.

It got better after we started chan ge and I somehow managed to relax a little. But when lei bie started it was total panic. And when I heard jiechong's first note I almost broke down. Goshh..

It's a wonder how nerve wreaking it was to be on stage at that time, thinking it was SYF, hoping to be able to do your best. I hope SYF don't end up like this. If not I'll really jump into 黄河 and just kill myself.

Now.. I just hope my cough gets better.. My throat's killing me :/



KFC
2:36 AM

Maybe eating KFC was not that good an idea afterall... But nevermind, I had fun :D Haha!

It's nice to meet up once in awhile for dinner. And since today had practically gone wrong for me, so it's nice that this dinner could help me relax a little.

I swear I'll continue to go mad as long as I continue this. My life is going downhill T.T

Haha. Ok. No emo talks for me. Who know's what will happen next time.

One good news today.. I didn't fail my trigo test though I was like 101% sure I did.

But one bad news.. I could've gotten 2 grades up if I had 2 more mins to finish writing one question.

Oh well.. I'll do better next time. JIAYOU JIAYOU! :D


Thursday, April 02, 2009


Photography

10:08 PM

I'm obsessed over photography.

I swear I'm going to learn photography someday. And also to master the wonderful art of photoshopping. Haha!

Someday... SOMEDAY...!


Wednesday, April 01, 2009


Makeover

9:05 PM

I've been waking up at 3+ to 4am so often recently. To mug, to do homework etc. I'm tired! =/

Going to do the same tomorrow, study my math! I'm getting super demoralized by math. I'm not imba enough to cope with so many things at once.. Zzz.. JIAYOU!

Dad was being random and started suggesting going to the dentist to do some whitening and to put braces.. Then my mum came in and started talking about cutting double eyelid.. Then she started contradicting herself by saying it's not good cause your eyelids sag when you're older then it'll look super fake. Then dad started talking about going to korea for a 'holiday' but instead going for plastic surgery.. Then mum started talking about breast enhancement. HAHA!

My parents are so hilarious :D And I just stood there, trying to hide my laughter while nodding my head.